Is your summer vacation really a vacation?

A vacation is a chance to get away from the normal routine of work and demands of daily life. When done right, a vacation should be a period of relaxation, enjoyment and recharging. Research has shown that a vacation with close family and friends is a shared experience that makes everyone happy and continues to do so when they relive the experience afterward.

But done badly, summer holidays can produce enough stress that some people need to return to daily life to rest up from that “vacation.”

A relaxing summer holiday simply requires some planning and careful choices. A good vacation isn’t about how long it lasts or where to go, but rather about what is done with the time, and the choices made to help everyone relax.

Most important is not trying to do too much. Experts suggest staying in fewer places for longer periods of time makes it easier to relax. Similarly, don’t try to pack in too many activities. Scheduling is fine, but there’s no need to fill every minute. Plan some free time when relaxing is the only goal.

For a family trip, reduce conflict and complaining by planning activities that will satisfy at least some of the needs of all family members. Talk with children about the trade-offs. Some things being planned will be to keep them happy, but help them understand that other activities are to keep mom and dad happy, too.

Reduce vacation stress by being realistic about work obligations. Constantly worrying about what’s happening back in the office is not a way to relax. If it isn’t possible to totally escape work issues, plan some specific work time. Set up an afternoon when the family can disappear to have fun and the worker can check in with the office and clear up any problems. When that’s done, get back to the vacation and relax.

The goal is to make vacation time restful and fun. Don’t stress out by worrying that everything planned has to happen and has to be wonderful. Accept that the schedule is flexible, and when something new and interesting is discovered, take the time to enjoy it. Avoid a schedule that is packed with activities and leaves everyone feeling tired, cranky and overwhelmed.

Keep the vacation simple, underscheduled and flexible, and there’s a better chance of coming back truly refreshed and reinvigorated.

Counseling Corner is provided by the American Counseling Association. Send comments and questions to [email protected] or visit the ACA website at http://www.counseling.org.