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  • Reducing conflicts with your boss

    American Counseling Association, Special to Village News|Updated Nov 30, 2019

    If you’re in a work situation where you have a strong, positive relationship with that supervisor or boss above you, congratulations. While it does happen, it is not always the case for many people in their jobs. Good relationships with a supervisor require effort on the employee’s part, but it’s effort that pays dividends. Studies have shown that one of the most important things affecting someone’s job performance, stress levels and overall job satisfaction and happiness is the relationship they have with the person above t...

  • Not letting that family gathering overwhelm you

    American Counseling Association|Updated Nov 21, 2019

    Special to Village News The holiday season is coming which for many can mean family get-togethers. It would be wonderful if every family gathering was a Norman Rockwell-type scene but, unfortunately, most families are a little less than Rockwell perfect. If a big family event is approaching, there’s a good chance that while some family members may be looking forward to it, it may also be producing stress and anxiety. There are a number of reasons for such feelings, but there are ways to lessen that stress. One common p...

  • Is your teen able to handle peer pressure?

    The American Counseling Association, Special to Village News|Updated Nov 15, 2019

    Parents may often ignore what is probably the most important influence in their teenager’s life – peer pressure. While parental opinions may be given some consideration, if only because of the consequences of ignoring them, it’s more often the comments and actions of peers that help many teens decide virtually everything from hairstyles to clothing choices to academic efforts. Peer pressure can be a good thing, encouraging participation in sports, religious activities and working for good grades. But peer pressure can also...

  • Eating for better mental health

    American Counseling Association|Updated Nov 7, 2019

    There is a growing body of research showing that the dietary choices we make each day affect not only our physical bodies (yes, that beer belly didn't just happen by itself) but can also play an important role in our mental health. Most parents have probably observed what foods high in sugar sometimes do to their children. And while studies have failed to find a definitive link between sugar and hyperactivity, most moms will tell you that their son or daughter seems more excited and active after eating a sugary snack. The...

  • Planning ahead can lower college application stress

    American Counseling Association|Updated Nov 6, 2019

    Special to Village News For most families, the college application process is a major source of anxiety. But it doesn’t have to be extra stressful if a family takes enough time to address the many questions and issues related to college applications. A starting point for most families should be the financial issues. A college education is an expensive investment. Parents and their student need to talk realistically about how that education will be paid for and what schools are affordable. Are scholarships a possibility? H...

  • Understanding why people lie

    The American Counseling Association|Updated Nov 1, 2019

    Special to Village News People live in a world where lying has become a fairly common occurrence. Indeed, there are now organizations specializing in fact-checking political statements and business releases to uncover the fabrications often presented. Of course, it’s not just political figures or business leaders with a monopoly on fibbing to people. Lies happen in most homes, whether it’s the little boy standing over the smashed vase he said he didn’t break or the teenager offering a story for why she was two hours past...

  • Don't let anger get the best of you

    American Counseling Association, Special to Village News|Updated Oct 25, 2019

    In today’s world, high levels of stress and anxiety seem to be the norm. People face daily news reports of economic woes, political fights, weather disasters and international threats. And even if they choose to ignore this news, there are still many problems of daily life. Whether it’s work pressures, financial worries or normal family and personal issues, it seems there’s always something that adds anxiety to people’s lives. One unfortunate side effect of all this stress is that sometimes people can reach a point where a...

  • Get stress under control

    The American Counseling Association|Updated Oct 18, 2019

    Special to Village News Stress affects everyone these days. Jobs, family issues, the daily news and hundreds of other factors can all help create and promote the stress and anxiety that so many people feel. Of course, there are always going to be factors in people’s lives that make them worried and can leave them feeling nervous, afraid or uncomfortable. That’s simply life. But there are ways to can minimize the effect stress may be having on a person’s physical, mental and emotional health. Simple lifestyle changes for bette...

  • A resource not to be ignored – the school counselor

    American Counseling Association, Special to Village News|Updated Oct 11, 2019

    Many parents aren’t aware of the wide range of services their schools’ counselors have to offer. Yes, professional school counselors often provide help for students facing classroom struggles, but their range of assistance goes far beyond that aspect. School counselors have expertise and skills to benefit just about every student. They’re also a resource to support every parent. A starting point in making the best use of your school’s counselors is to recognize that these are counselors who have completed extensive trainin...

  • Caregiver burnout is a very real problem

    American Counseling Association, Special to Village News|Updated Oct 2, 2019

    A caregiver, someone involved in assisting others with activities of daily living or perhaps medical issues as well, come in two different forms. Professional caregivers are paid to provide assistance in a variety of settings ranging from the person’s home to some type of care center. However, there are also an estimated 44 million or more informal caregivers who are providing unpaid care to a child or adult, often on a daily basis. The caregiver may be a spouse, a relative or a close friend, there to help a loved one who c...

  • Do you really listen to what others have to say?

    American Counseling Association, Special to Village News|Updated Sep 22, 2019

    Most people like to hear themselves talk. They enjoy sharing personal information, their jobs and recent activities. And there’s nothing wrong with that, unless someone spends so much time talking that they forget to actually listen to what others are sharing. Being a good listener is an essential skill in maintaining strong personal relationships with relatives or with friends. Yet, too often people tend to believe that solid relationships just seem to happen. Having good friends takes some work and effort on both sides o...

  • Is your memory beginning to worry you?

    The American Counseling Association|Updated Sep 13, 2019

    Special to Village News People may have seen a sign or a T-shirt with the slogan, “My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.” It’s a funny quote, but one clearly based on a real issue many people experience as they age. Why do people seem more forgetful or have more problems with short-term memory as they grow older? In some cases it can be an early indication of a more serious problem – Alzheimer’s disease. This disease affects 5.8 million Americans and...

  • School mornings don't have to be chaos

    The American Counseling Association|Updated Sep 13, 2019

    Special to Village NewsSo what does the typical school morning look like at home? Quiet conversation over a leisurely breakfast, everyone dressed and ready to depart on time, all their books, papers and lunch neatly packed and ready to go? No? Not quite? More like a minor riot with lots of stress? If so, it’s time for a change. There’s no magic way to guarantee that the bedlam that marks those getting ready for school times in too many homes will totally disappear, but there are steps to take to help minimize the sch...

  • Don't ignore depression in teens

    American Counseling Association|Updated Aug 30, 2019

    If there’s a teenager at home, they are probably moody, ecstatic, angry, happy and just about every other emotional state you can think of at various times. The fact that teens can seem like an entirely different people at various times is fairly easy to explain. The teenage years are a pretty difficult time. Teens face all kinds of pressures. Their bodies are changing; their friendships can be volatile, and there are demands at school and the uncertainty of college or career decisions. It’s not an easy time of life and one...

  • Learning to deal with that empty nest

    American Counseling Association|Updated Aug 30, 2019

    Is that young adult at home packing their suitcases and heading off for their first year of college? Or maybe there’s that bedroom someone walks by sadly every day remembering how lovely the wedding was, but how empty that room is now. From college, to marriages or to a new out-of-town job, there are all kinds of reasons for why a child is no longer sharing that home with their mother and father. Whatever the cause, the emotions that parents experience when their children depart are often ones of sadness, loneliness and d...

  • It's time to be in charge of your life

    American Counseling Association|Updated Aug 13, 2019

    Getting tired of how life just seems to happen? Do days seem to be filled with mundane tasks, an unfulfilling job or just the same old thing over and over? It's easy to let our lives fall into a rut and realize there are a lot of actions that may seem necessary, but aren't making us happy. This is when it's time to take charge of your life and begin moving things in a more positive and satisfying direction. You don't have to turn your whole life upside down, but rather start looking for small changes that can leave you...

  • Helping wildlife

    American Counseling Association, AD-75 R|Updated Aug 12, 2019

    Caring for animals, including California’s native wildlife, is one of my passions. Last session my legislation setting up the Native California Wildlife Rehabilitation Fund was signed into law, allowing voluntary contributions when you file your tax return to support injured, orphaned or sick wildlife. Helping finance organizations that support native wildlife is important. If you've found an injured animal and need information on where to take it, please call (619) 225-WILD (9453) for Project Wildlife. Fortunately, we h...

  • You don't want to give up

    American Counseling Association, Special to Village News|Updated Aug 5, 2019

    Life is full of challenges. Some big, some small, but all challenges can dishearten people at times and make them feel overwhelmed and discouraged. While the goal of some challenge may be important to them, it can be easy to lose sight of that goal when things get in the way. Other responsibilities, a task’s difficulty, a lack of time or just the fear of failing, can all cause someone to give up. Step one in taking on a challenge is clearly defining what it is that they want to accomplish. Identify and write down the goal the...

  • Recovering from a mistake

    American Counseling Association|Updated Jul 29, 2019

    It happens to all of us. We're in a situation where we have to perform, make a decision, or accomplish something important, and instead, we fail. We freeze up, or make a poor decision or simply don't deliver the results that were expected. The outcome isn't pleasant and we are embarrassed. The reality, of course, is that no one can be right all the time. We may fail at something but, hopefully, it usually isn't the end of the world. The problem happens when we find it hard to get past that mistake or failure. Instead of simpl...

  • Making sports a healthy part of a child's life

    American Counseling Association|Updated Jul 29, 2019

    We live in a society that places a great deal of emphasis on sports. We see professional athletes paid astronomical salaries and find the broadcast airways filled with almost endless coverage of all types of sporting events. All that visibility has an effect. While for many kids it certainly builds interest in participating, it also can make some parents feel it's vitally important that they push their child to participate and stand out in sports. Playing a sport when a child has an interest and when it's part of a balanced...

  • You do deserve the success you've earned

    American Counseling Association|Updated Jul 19, 2019

    It's a feeling that affects both men and women. You've achieved success at work, with a community organization, or just within your family, and yet you don't feel you've really earned that achievement. You may think that your accomplishments come from luck or good timing rather than any real talent and hard work on your part. You may feel like a fraud, not really capable of the tasks facing you. Having these thoughts is fairly common. They're manifestations of self-doubt and a lack of self-confidence, and there's even a...

  • Car trips with the kids don't have to be stressful

    American Counseling Association, Special to Village News|Updated Jul 15, 2019

    It’s hot and your family is heading for a fun vacation destination, but there’s still that long car ride that has to happen first. And no, a car with unhappy, complaining children isn’t the best way to get that vacation off to a great start. While children usually get excited about the upcoming getaway, they also have a low level of patience and are easily bored sitting in a car. How to minimize the stress a car trip can bring for both parents and children? Start by being...

  • Motivating your children to do more

    American Counseling Association, Special to Village News|Updated Jul 1, 2019

    Children can be amazing. They develop new cellphone apps, set athletic records, volunteer with the elderly and perform many good deeds. Unfortunately, much of the time it seems these are someone else’s children. For many parents, the reality is children sleeping till noon, buried in video games or so busy monitoring social media that they only surface for meals. This reality is even more obvious with children on summer vacation and no longer disappearing to school where we at least assume they are accomplishing something p...

  • Overcome feelings of shyness

    American Counseling Association|Updated Jun 24, 2019

    Each person, at times, feels anxious about a situation they’re currently in or about to enter. If such feelings are the norm, however, a person may feel they’re “shy” and may find they’re labeled as such by others. Being shy seems cute when it’s a small child hiding behind a parent’s leg but as people get older, being shy can leave them feeling needlessly anxious and often keeps them from opportunities and relationships from which they might benefit. Extreme cases of feeling shy can sometimes meet the criteria for social an...

  • Don't let summer just happen

    American Counseling Association|Updated Jun 17, 2019

    Most people, from young children to senior citizens, look forward to the opportunities of summer. While they may complain some days about the heat and humidity, the warmer weather and slower pace offers a chance to relax, to take advantage of more outdoor activities and perhaps to even enjoy a well-earned vacation. But sometimes the temptation is just to sit back and let summer happen. It might sound tempting, but it often means time suddenly flies by, the children are bored and cranky and the family has missed many good...

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