Total Victory Moment Trusting in God

Early last week I received a call from my friend Porry, one of the most spiritually connected people I know. She sensed God had a message for me in Psalm 37:3-4. Needless to say, I dropped what I was doing and scrambled for my Bible. It goes like this: “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Being the good neurotic I am, I have spent the time ever since memorizing the lines and applying them to my life. I had to really consider my trust level in the Lord. I realized my trust varies from day to day depending how nuts I want to make myself. So when things went goofy in my day I’d say, “I trust in the Lord, and I do good.” I refocused my thoughts and found ways to ‘do good,’ lifting my heart to others and my soul to the Lord, which brought great peace.

Then when something made me worry or I became fearful, I’d concentrate on the next line modified to my life: I am safe because you are my God. You, Lord… you are my God and I trust in you. So every concern became a prayer drawing me in closer and calming my fears and ever-scattered nerves.

All was going well and by Sunday I was meditating on the last line: Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Well, how cool is that? I was at church, fully consumed with the liturgy, my heart resting in the Lord, when at Communion the same music I had chosen for my husband’s funeral began to play (I Have Loved You With a Never Ending Love). I lost my composure right there on the spot and started to cry. The next day would be the anniversary of his death. I looked up to the heavens for an answer and I told the Lord how I did delight myself in him and to please lift this burden from my broken heart. I told him I didn’t want to be alone anymore… that was the desire of my heart. After a few moments I focused my thoughts back to the first line…I trust in the Lord. Only this time I sensed that my prayers were already answered, I wasn’t alone, he was walking with me. I now believe the music was letting me know just that.