Medical Minute - Coping with a loved one's illness

It is very difficult when dealing with a family member who has a severe illness. The emotions that overcome us are often unbearable.

This is made much worse when the ill person is your confidant – a person who you lean on when times are hard. Now at one of the hardest times of your life, they are too ill to be that strong shoulder you’ve come to lean on for many years. I empathize with you.

First thing is remember to breathe and understand that you are not alone. You will deal with this by finding inner strength, compassion and courage you never thought you had. Take this one moment at a time, hold on to that love you have and know this is all part of life’s bigger plan.

When you don’t know what to do next, try to follow your heart. If you need a break, take a break; you are no good to you or your loved one completely drained.

It’s okay to laugh amidst time of sorrow. Laughing is a great way to cope when times are too much for us to handle.

This stress can come across as anger directed at a friend; they will understand, say sorry and move on.

People often will do dumb things when this stressed; it is easy to focus on these actions rather then the illness which causes such grief. Try not to focus on their actions; forgive inappropriate behavior when you can. You will do irrational things also, so forgive yourself as you forgive others.

When going to medical appointments, bring a friend and a notepad. Ask questions and listen to the answers. If you don’t understand what is being said, please ask more questions.

Sorry for the heavy subject matter, just felt someone needed this.

Physician Assistant Steven J. Schutz owns Temecula 24-hour Urgent Care. For information, call (951) 308-4451.