The pig doesn't matter that much

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of an argument that went on so long that eventually you couldn’t remember exactly how it got started?

Or have you ever kept your distance from someone for so long, that you had a hard time remembering why you first started to dislike them in the first place?

In life, in relationships, and sadly sometimes even in the body of Christ if we’re not careful – division and distrust can become a pattern of living. But there are better ways to spend our lives than by feuding.

I was recently reading in the newspaper about a family reunion in Pikeville, Kentucky that in just a few years has become one of the largest in the nation. Thousands of family members travel in from coast to coast. This reunion has much of what you would typically expect: good food, good music, fun games, activities, and lots of time to get caught up with family and kinfolk.

But there’s also something about it that is not typical: It is a joint family reunion between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

Yes, there really are Hatfields and McCoys. Yes, in the 1800’s they really did feud. And, No, they had never associated since – even though the last of the fighting ended 100 years ago. It truly was an awful argument-turned-shooting-war between two Appalachian clans that lasted 18 years and left 12 people dead.

However, the ironic thing about this most famous American feud is that nobody is absolutely sure how it all got started. The first two who got tangled up were Randolph McCoy of Kentucky and William “Devil Anse” Hatfield of West Virginia. Best guess is that the conflict began when Hatfield accused McCoy of letting his pig get loose in his field. One thing led to another and as they say – “the rest is history.”

Nobody today cares about that long-forgotten pig, but they sure fought over it for an awful long time. It took 140 years for somebody to take the first step and suggest that maybe it had been long enough and it was time to just drop it and come back together again.

I say, “Good for the Hatfields and the McCoys!” I think that they are right. When you can no longer even be sure about the original details, it is probably time to just lay down your weapons.

The feuds in our lives may not be as famous, but usually they make about as much sense. Sometimes we argue so long that we can’t even remember exactly what it all started over. Sometimes we are distanced for so long that we can’t even remember why we moved apart in the first place.

If we’re not careful, separation can become a settled pattern of living. And trust me, there are far better ways to spend our lives than by fighting or avoiding each other.

The book of Ephesians puts it like this: And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God…but get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Here are a few important lessons I learned from the Hatfields and McCoys.

#1 The world sits up and takes notice when reunion takes place. Newspapers, politicians, and onlookers from around the world are tracking this human-interest story. And when we are willing to restore long-broken relationships, often the people around us will sit up and take notice, too. As Christians it’s very easy to talk, sing, and theologize about reunion…but it’s another thing to actually do it.

#2 Somebody has got to take the first step. When it comes to putting relationships back together, whether its been 10 minutes, or 140 years, somebody has got to pick up the phone…walk across the yard…write the letter…or extend the invitation. Christians should be people who are famous for taking the first step.

#3 Sometimes we just need to admit that the pig doesn’t matter that much.

I know that when emotions, reactions, counter-reactions, and history get tangled up it’s easy to lose perspective. But sometimes when we step back and look at how long and large the conflict has grown…common sense forces us to admit that the pig really doesn’t matter that much.