Living in wonder

Do you remember being a little kid lying on your back somewhere grassy smelling, lost in wonder watching the puffiness of cloud formations scooting by? Life was simple, stress nonexistent. We had parents who took care of the details of life and we were free to dream our dreams and trust those in charge. Then we grow up. Yikes! As adults, difficulties can swallow us up, break our hearts and destroy our dreams. Working in a church you see a lot of pain and your heart breaks daily for those experiencing the gut-wrenching anguish of loss and illness. Then in the next minute you’re walking around with a couple giddy kids preparing for marriage. What does all of this teach us anyway?

That life is a gift, filled with oodles of pain and tons of joy. Each life is a perfect part of a perfect story, heaps larger than our little selves, way bigger than our ability to see. It is a race between good and evil, joy and sadness, life and death. It’s all the things we crave in a good movie, and God knows, all of it has its place, reason and season. We don’t always understand, but it is within our grasp to trust in God’s perpetual state of goodness and wait on our happily ever after.

I have the privilege to be involved in grief ministry and have walked with people who have suffered horrendous losses. These precious souls grappling for answers have stunned me with their faith. I’ve seen them strengthened and transformed by God’s love and endless provision through their trust and I echo with them what the psalmist said thousands of years ago… that “those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.” (Ps 9:10); “In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.” (Ps 22:4-5) “I trust in the LORD. I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul.” (Ps 31:6-7)

And what does God do with the anguish of our souls? He strengthens us to strengthen others. He makes us soul mates with those who suffer. In grappling with our own questions, others who suffer can find their answers. Through these instances, like little children lost in wonder, once again we can put our trust in the One in charge. Only then can we learn to relax and watch the unfolding of all the stages of life, growing us up in wisdom and grace.

Prayer for Trust in Jesus: O Christ Jesus, when all is darkness and we feel our weakness and helplessness, give us the sense of your presence, your love, and your strength. Help us to have perfect trust in your protecting love and strengthening power, so that nothing may frighten or worry us, for, living close to you, we shall see your hand, your purpose, your will through all things. –St. Ignatius of Loyola

“Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you may become sons of light.” (John 12:36)