Also serving the communities of De Luz, Rainbow, Camp Pendleton, Pala and Pauma

Healing our scar tissue

For the past few weeks we have been discussing why and how to forgive. But what do we do with the scar tissue left behind from our previous hurts? Our painful history continually rears itself within us whether we realize it or not.

From the time of our conception until we draw our last breath, we suck up information (positive or negative) like sponges and act out from those experiences. Here’s a great example of what I’m talking about: Psychotherapist Dr. Andrew Feldmar had three patients who repeatedly attempted suicide on the yearly anniversary of previous attempts. After researching the family history of these suicidal individuals, it was uncovered that they had mothers who attempted to abort them at those time-specific dates. Once these patients realized that their suicidal ideas where really memories of their mothers’ attempts to kill them, they were freed from the compulsion to commit suicide. Amazing! This leaves us to a deeper understanding of what Christ so aptly stated on the cross, “we truly don’t know what we are doing.”

When I hear about or experience someone acting out, it reminds me of my own stuff I haul around jading my perspectives, causing bad judgments. You know, the all-inclusive plank in one’s peepers. Last year, when my brokenness shone like the Star of David, I had the opportunity to really evaluate and pray about how my insecurities skewed my common sense about a particular matter. In essence, I was reading events through my hurt and rejected parts. I realize now that all I was looking for was reassurance, yet my communication skills failed me miserably.

Once we recognize these tendencies, however, we can bring them before the Lord for healing. Scripture teaches us in Psalm 51:17 “a contrite and broken heart God will not scorn.” God knows our histories and even if we have worked hard at forgiveness we may still carry the battle scars of pain once inflicted which can damage our relationships when it truly is the last thing we want to see happen.

In Pema Chodron’s Book “The Places That Hurt You,” it is said that it is extremely important to pray for God to heal the root cause of where we suffer. Just remember, the past hurts can be debilitating and cause low self-esteem and a skewed perspective so we are in need of the Lord’s grace in those areas. Pray something like this: Lord, please heal me at the root cause of my suffering. We also can sit in silence before the Lord (contemplative prayer) in trust that he will heal us profoundly on all levels of our unconsciousness. When we come up against someone acting out of their wounds we can pray for the Lord to heal them at the root of their suffering, too.

2 Corinthians 10:5-6 tells us to “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” It’s important not only to take captive our thoughts, but also to learn from them. Then we can turn over our irrational tendencies praying expectantly for God to heal us profoundly so we live more in his image and less in ours! Another reason why faith matters!

 

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