Forgiving the biggest culprit

Okay, you screwed up – royally. You feel crappy. Can’t believe you went that route. You feel smothered in guilt, sick to death of yourself and disgusted. Sometimes the one who is hardest to forgive is oneself. To get beyond self-accusations, we need self-forgiveness. Toxic guilt is terribly destructive causing low self-esteem and a sense of worthlessness. We have a tendency to look at our faults and failings which can keep us from seeing our own goodness and living a life of peace.

I have this nifty little ditty I pulled out of magazine called “The Audrey Hepburn Way: Time Tested Beauty.” It goes like this: “For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure share your food with the hungry. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you’ll never walk alone. The tender loving care of human beings will never become obsolete.” Great quote, but it gets better.

She goes on to say, and this is the part I want you to remember: “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed and redeemed and redeemed. Never throw away anybody.” That includes yourself – especially yourself.

Once we get it through our heads that Jesus died – nailed hand and foot to a tree to redeem mankind from our mistakes, we can (and should) take a deep breath, ask for forgiveness and be grateful. For heavens sake, that’s why he came!!! Rest in the fact that our sin (past, present and future) is why we need a Redeemer. “For God so loved the world he sent his only Son” (John 3:16). To be just that – our Redeemer, our Savior – the one who washes away our sin, and gives us second, third, millions of chances to sail straight, try harder and trust him along the way to forgive us, reclaim us as his own, redeeming us from our sinful nature. If God has forgiven us, we must forgive ourselves. To love and forgive oneself is a key way to humility and a path to true mercy towards others too.

I love Brother Lawrence on this account. He was a Carmelite lay brother, a humble cook, who was known to discover the greatest secret of living the Kingdom of God on earth. According to his friend, “as Brother Lawrence attempted to move into a more spiritual life, memories of the sins of his past life engulfed him, and he judged himself a great sinner, unworthy of any of God’s attentions. Which led him to many years of fear and anxiety where he often doubted his salvation. He finally cried out to God in complete and total misery: ‘It no longer matters to me what I do or what I suffer, provided that I remain lovingly united to Your will.’” This was a turning point in his spiritual life which set him free to live in peace and realization of the abundant love of God, changing his life forever.

So if you are hung up on not being able to forgive yourself for past failures, take heart! Where we are weak happens to be the place where we find salvation and peace. And precisely again, why faith matters! “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:17).