'Love Guru' more guru-ly advice than lovemaking

Don’t think that I’m going easy on the “The Love Guru” just because it’s a hockey movie.

In some of my past movie reviews I’ve expressed my disappointment with Mike Myers for his emphasis on the sexual. “Guru,” however, is more about internal self-love than external carnal love.

I’m aware of what Myers has done with some of his previous movies. I also had my doubts about “Guru” before I saw the preview because the fictitious owner of the actual Toronto Maple Leafs had the last name of Bullard, which was probably too close for coincidence to an actual former Maple Leafs owner by the name of Harold Ballard.

I came out of the movie with the opinion that the fictional Bullard ownership may have been a tribute to the efforts of Ballard, especially since the movie version of the Maple Leafs had a coach called Punch.

Punch Imlach, who was taller than the movie coach played by the 2’8” actor Verne Troyer, was the Maple Leafs’ coach for Toronto’s final four Stanley Cup championships. While “Guru” continues the Myers history of characters with unprintable names and the fictional coach’s surname can’t be referenced here, Troyer’s character shared the dictatorial style for which Imlach was noted.

In the movie Troyer’s character fakes a heart attack to stall for time; when the Maple Leafs last won the Stanley Cup in 1967, Imlach missed part of March due to heart problems. The movie and real life agree that the Maple Leafs last won the Stanley Cup in 1967, which is the second-longest current drought of any of the “Original Six” teams (the Original Six were actually the surviving six teams who comprised the National Hockey League from 1942 to the 1966 expansion).

In the movie the Maple Leafs suffer from the Bullard Curse and haven’t won the Stanley Cup since Hank Bullard purchased the team in 1967. In real life Ballard and partners purchased the team in the early 1960s and won four Stanley Cup championships, although the Maple Leafs haven’t won the Stanley Cup since Ballard bought out his partners in the early 1970s.

The conclusion is thus that for Myers, who was raised in Toronto, “Guru” is a hockey fantasy rather than a sexual fantasy. And while crude content exists in the movie, what stands out other than the hockey is more the advice of Myers’ guru character about self-love than the sexual references.

Myers plays a character called Guru Pitka, who was known as Maurice before his American missionary parents died in India and left him with an Indian master. The master told Maurice that he needed to learn to love himself before he could love others.

Maurice eventually moved to Los Angeles and established an ashram. Although his seminars and book sales made him materially wealthy, he still ranked second behind Deepak Chopra.

Chopra eventually makes a cameo appearance as himself in the film, which should indicate that the message of the movie is about attaining the success ideals of Chopra rather than attaining the sexual fantasies of Myers.

The real-life National Hockey League has a diversity program headed by current La Mesa resident Willie O’Ree, a New Brunswick native who in 1958 became the first black to play in the NHL. Although black players have made their impact in professional hockey, nearly all were born and raised in Canada.

The NHL’s diversity program seeks to bring ice hockey to minorities in America’s inner cities, and while such an initiative will help the growth of hockey as well as provide another constructive activity for inner-city youth, the dividends of African-American hockey players are years away and currently the fictional Darren Roanoke (played by Romany Malco) is the most prominent African-American hockey star.

Darren’s stardom with the Toronto Maple Leafs of Myers’ fantasy has spawned interest in hockey among African-Americans and has earned him the respect of the Maple Leafs’ fans.

However, Darren’s mother does nothing to dispel the stereotype of dominating African-American women, and Darren’s fear of failure causes problems in his marriage. He separates from his wife, Prudence (played by Meagan Good), who hooks up with Los Angeles Kings goaltender Jacques Grande (played by Justin Timberlake).

The fictional Bullard died in 2005 and his daughter, Jane (played by Jessica Alba), took over the team. A significant number of Maple Leafs fans consider Jane to be part of the Bullard Curse, and when the departure of his wife adversely affects Darren’s play things get worse for the Maple Leafs and for Jane.

She travels to Los Angeles and offers Guru Pitka $2 million if he can restore Darren’s confidence and help the Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

Guru Pitka then applies his guru-ly advice to both Darren and Jane – and thus to the viewers. Among the sex and comedy, information on how to live one’s life is tossed to the viewer, and thus “Guru” is quite different than any previous Myers movie.

Not only does Deepak Chopra make a cameo appearance as himself, but so does Los Angeles Kings star Rob Blake.

Although Myers’ hockey fantasy involves the Maple Leafs winning the Stanley Cup, both Blake and the Kings administration which granted permission to use the team logo were willing to settle for the losing finalist berth in the movie. The willingness of Blake and the Kings to portray themselves as the runners-up are a sign that the movie is more than just about laughs and hockey.

Yes, there is crude humor. As Justin Timberlake learned four and a half years ago following his Super Bowl halftime performance, there are small kids who watch sporting events. “The Love Guru” is not suitable for young hockey fans.

For those adolescents and adults who are in need of some advice about life, the remarks about sex are a suitable price to pay. It may not be the epitome of professionalism, but compared to the double- and triple-digit registration fees of more restrained success seminars the low-rate personal success advice is a nice compromise.