Tea raises funds and awareness of open adoptions

The Fallbrook Pregnancy Resource Center held its fourth annual "Hats in the Garden" Tea and Auction May 19 to benefit the center's many programs. Over 200 ladies reserved seats at the Fallbrook Community Center for the event which included more than 160 items and gift baskets in the silent auction, all of which were donated by area residents and businesses. The lunch was also donated, catered by Andree Neddermeyer.

At the beginning of the tea, a representative from Senator Joel Anderson's office presented executive director Carolyn Koole with a certificate for "Outstanding Community Service" for all the center offers to area residents.

Among its many free and confidential services, FPRC offers pregnancy testing and "earn while you learn" classes in which expectant parents learn about parenting and earn needed baby equipment. Besides parenting resources, the center offers educational support helping young mothers finish their schooling. The center also connects families with community groups who can help them.

Koole reported that 38 babies were born last year to clients of the center and that number could double this year. At 624 client visits in 2017, over 2,676 free services were provided and volunteers served over 5,000 hours. Over $80,000 in services were provided at no cost to the community or the state or federal governments.

Koole said their dream is to "have the center go medical, We want to offer STD tests, well mother checks, and other maternity services." For now, a sonogram mobile unit is available at the center twice a month for checkups.

Having raised almost $1 million, FPRC has purchased the building at 125 E. Hawthorne and is in the process of renovating it. Koole said they still need to raise $150,000 to finish their capital campaign. A registered nurse is also needed, part-time, to oversee the clinic as a requirement of making it a medical facility.

The highlight of the tea fundraiser was the story told by three guest speakers. Sarah Jensen-Elhoff, director of the Adoption Center of San Diego, was the main speaker who brought two ladies with her to share their experiences with open adoption which is an option not often considered for unplanned pregnancies. With this choice, birth mothers and their families can be a part of the child's life along with the adoptive parents and their families.

Jensen-Elhoff talked about "an amazing woman who placed her son with a loving family" eight years ago. The young woman named Jordan had found herself pregnant at age 20. A college student, she was not ready to be a mother but wanted to find a good home for her son. Her grandmother lived in Fallbrook and knew about the FPRC. When they went to the center, they were referred to the Adoption Center of San Diego.

There, they learned about open adoption. Jordan was given files of several families who wanted to adopt a baby. She wanted to find a family that already had children and a white picket fence. One letter popped out at her – she found the perfect family, Christy and Brent Hoover who had already adopted two children.

Starting with a quote from the Bible, "Ask and you will receive, seek and you will find," Jordan's grandmother, Jean, gave her side of the story. She said, "Our families have now become one with their family." Instead of a family tree, she said, they have a "family forest, grafted."

Of her great-grandson and his adoptive parents, Jean said, "Max's birth brought them into our lives; we are so blessed." Along with Jordan's family, the Hoover's were present for Max's birth and the two sets of families have celebrated birthdays and other events together ever since then.

Christy Hoover was the third speaker for the tea. After she learned she was infertile and started talking about adoption with her husband, her younger brother "butted in." He did not learn he was adopted until he was 14 and wanted them to enter into an open adoption for the child's sake. Their oldest child is now 14; their older son is 12 and Max is 8. Christy said that with this last adoption they not only got Max but 26 other people too!

"We wanted our children to know where they came from," Christy said, adding "We hit the jackpot, they [Jordan's family] love my other kids too." She considers the two families "married". While the birth families of her older children have moved out of town, they share cards and photos with them. For Christy, there are "never too many people to love our kids."

Jensen-Elhoff ended with a quote from a then 5-year-old girl at a Christmas party 15 years ago who said, "So my mommy told me that every child here is a chosen child... [her birth mother] was looking for the best mommy and daddy in the whole world." That is open adoption,

Koole said, "Adoption impacts so many people, generations." Her own adopted daughter is now 26 years old and recently found her birth father. She asked for a show of hands of how many women in the audience are adoptive mothers, and then how many were adopted themselves. There were quite a few for both sides.

For more information on FPRC, visit http://www.fallbrookprc.com/ or contact Carolyn Koole at (760) 728-4105 or [email protected]. For more information about the Adoption Center of San Diego, visit http://www.sdadopt.org/ or call (800) 298-9111.