New group offers support to parents of children battling addiction

OCEANSIDE – A new support group, Parents of Addicted Loved-ones, now meets 6 p.m. Tuesday evenings at the Salvation Army, 3935 Lake Boulevard, in Oceanside. The group will not meet Sept. 11.

Years of working as a substance abuse counselor taught Mike Speakman that overcoming addiction isn’t just about treatment for the individual. It takes support from the family as well.

“A good example is diabetes,” Speakman said. “You didn’t cause it, but if your son had it, you might want to learn about it so you could help better.”

Speakman had been offering education for families in single weekend sessions. After years, however, he eventually realized the change that needs to occur with drug and alcohol addiction is a long-term change for the entire family. They may learn a lot over a weekend, but repetition and consistency is what will cause the change.

“When the parents got help and started making changes in how they dealt with their sons and daughters, I saw the addicted loved ones eventually seeking help,” Speakman said.

He began the PAL-group, Parents of Addicted Loved-ones. Mike is also the author of “The Four Seasons of Recovery, for Parents of Alcoholics and Addicts.”

The group first met in July 2006 at the Calvary Addiction Recovery Center, and in 2015 PAL was handed over to a group of parent volunteers who incorporated PAL as a nonprofit. Since 2015, PAL has spread across the United States. Each meeting, which is designed for parents or spouses of loved ones going through an addiction, begins with prayer, followed by introductions. The group presents one of nine lessons; which include “Healthy Helping” and “The Four Stages of Growth in Recovery.” After some discussion of the lesson, the members give an update about their lives and the meeting ends with prayer. The group is designed for each individual to learn at their own pace. The challenge is that much of the education goes against natural parenting instincts.

Jerry Law, a certified interventionist, said it’s important for parents or spouses to find a support group like PAL so that they don’t have to feel so alone.

“It’s critical,” he said. “It’s the only way to survive. You feel like, What did I do wrong? You didn’t do anything wrong. This is reality. This is life. This is the hand you’ve been dealt. If you’re going to live beating yourself up, you’re never going to be healthy.”

For more information or to find a meeting location, visit http://www.palgroup.org or call PAL at (480) 300-4712. For information on the Oceanside group, contact Gena Wilson at [email protected] or call (760) 822-0906.