Local family seeks help for their son

Twelve years ago, James and Julie Harvey of Fallbrook adopted two young children, a brother and sister, from Kaliningrad, Russia. Benjamin was a month short of his third birthday, his sister, Grace, 10 months younger. Due to early childhood trauma and neglect, Benjamin now requires intensive mental health intervention from professionals.

Julie Harvey said Benjamin was born to a 16 year old girl and removed from her care due to neglect and poor living conditions after his sister was born. He and his sister were placed in an orphanage and never saw their birth mother again.

Harvey said, "He was a beautiful, shy boy and the answer to our prayers. Benjamin is now 15-years-old and if you were to meet our son for the first time, your first impression would be, 'he is such a nice, polite boy.' However, Benjamin is a teenager with severe social and emotional problems. He is in desperate need of proper treatment.

"We truly believed that love was enough to overcome any obstacles his early life created. Benjamin was a quiet and delightful child. He never complained much and sucked his thumb constantly. He was delayed developmentally particularly with language and speech. Benjamin seemed to be always on the outside looking in, observing more than engaging with other children. At the age of 7, Benjamin was diagnosed with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)."

As he grew older, Benjamin's parents noticed that it took him a long time to do anything, even getting in and out of the car. He also had a hard time playing with other children and preferred to play alone. The doctors kept telling his parents that he had ADHD.

Harvey continued, "By the time Benjamin reached middle school, we noticed his behavior changing. He became more anxious and withdrawn. He had lost any ability to communicate his feelings to us or express to us how we could help him during this painful time...His behavior continued to dramatically escalate. He was clearly in distress and we were feeling lost as to how to help him through this. He would come home from school exhausted and literally collapse into crying fits and couldn't tell us why."

Benjamin was finally diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and ended up in the hospital, ultimately transferred to a residential care facility to receive services for mental health. Harvey said, "He stayed at the facility for approximately four weeks, at which time, the insurance company determined he was 'safe' to go home and not in danger of hurting himself or others." However, he continued to be extremely depressed, anxious, and lonely.

After countless hours of research and numerous doctor visits, assessments, and therapists, Benjamin was diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder. They were told that RAD is a serious mental disorder which affects children who have been neglected and/or abused. It interferes with a person's ability to form relationships, attachments, difficulty managing emotions, trusting, and self-esteem. These children live with a perpetual feeling of being unsafe and alone.

Harvey further explained, "The problem is there aren't many therapists who understand Reactive Attachment Disorder and how to treat it. Treatments that work for other kids with attachment issues do not work for RAD kids. RAD kids have actually experienced brain trauma similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Kids with RAD have had their normal development disrupted, usually due to neglect or abuse and, as a result, their brains didn't form properly. They are suspicious of those closest to them. They don't trust that the caregivers in their lives will meet their needs and they will consistently push them away. Without the proper treatment, Benjamin may never be able to experience love, trust anyone, feel empathy, or form attachments. Untreated kids with RAD often grow up to be adults with personality disorders."

The Harvey's found a professional treatment facility, The Institute for Attachment and Child Development in Littleton, Colorado, which specializes in helping children with RAD. This facility has had many success stories and is highly recommended. Harvey said that Benjamin was accepted and started in the summer of 2018; "We believe this is the best chance Benjamin has at living a healthy and productive life."

The treatment plan involves a therapeutic treatment home with a "practice family", therapy, support groups, psychiatry, and neurotherapy. He lives in the treatment home with a well trained and experienced husband and wife team and a few other RAD kids. Harvey said the treatment is expensive and "while we have medical insurance, this will only pay for a portion of the expense. The cost per month is approximately $6,500. The average stay is nine months. This places the cost at almost $60,000 plus travel expenses. However, we are determined to get our beautiful son the help he needs, whatever the cost."

Harvey said that she, her husband and their daughter participate in family therapy with Benjamin via Skype. While many of their other patients end up going into institutions because they are unable to function in the outside world, Benjamin's therapists told his mother that they do see a bond between him and his family which gives them hope for his future.

According to his mother, the transition to the treatment home was difficult for Benjamin but, four months after entering, he is doing well and has therapy multiple times a week. He is also attending the local high school there.

Because their deep love is not enough to help their son, the Harvey's are asking their friends, neighbors and community to help them financially, so "Benjamin and our whole family can heal and give him the best possible chance at a normal, emotionally healthy, safe, and productive life."

They have set up a Go Fund Me account. Donations can be made at GoFundMe.com by searching for Benjamin Harvey RAD.