Take on the challenge of addiction recovery in a complicated world

If a family is waiting for their loved one to get over their out of control addictive behaviors, then it could be a torturous wait. Unfortunately, society has long labeled addiction as a failure of character, when it is much more complicated.

I have worked with addicts in many forms for 31 years – in crisis centers, psychiatric hospitals, women's shelters, jails and prisons, community mental health and addiction treatment centers. The core of addiction has many elements – genetic, social, biochemical, medical, familial and situational. It is not a problem that is going to go away with one solution. And yet, why does the health care system treat it as if it could – and how does the current health insurance conundrum contribute to the continuation of this crisis?

I will consider alcoholism as also under the umbrella term of addiction. Addiction treatment has evolved along with advances in medical, social and psychological sciences and is capable of treating the whole person in addition to the family system that can continue to incubate the addiction unintentionally. However, access to adequate and effective treatment largely depends upon a person's ability to pay or on what their insurance plan currently covers, which can be a rapidly changing landscape.

In addition, many addicts require long-term stabilization, which the health insurance system often will not adequately cover. Addicts commonly do not seek treatment until they are in crisis – when split second decisions can mean the difference between life and death and families are stretched to the breaking point.

Addiction destroys the whole person and also their families. People lose their health, identity, jobs, savings, homes, families and also damage the lives of the ones who love them. In 2017, almost 200 people per day died from drug overdoses in the United States. Where do people start? There is no central ombudsman to guide them to effective programs that are financially and structurally within their reach, and there is no central assessment source to determine exactly what elements of treatment would be most effective for a particular person, who may also suffer from medical, family or mental health problems.

In addition, how do people determine that the addiction treatment program their family member enters is ethical? To add to the confusion, a serious complication has arisen in the addiction treatment field – a dangerous practice known as body brokering, where addicts are paid to lure other addicts into relapsing so they can guide them to a specific treatment program that pays them to do it. They will often befriend addicts in 12-step meetings and treatment programs and tempt them into relapse, even providing the drugs. All of this complicates an already too complicated treatment issue, creates additional dangers for people desperately seeking treatment for a deadly disease and drives up the cost of health care for everyone.

How can someone find adequate treatment for their addiction or support a loved one's work toward recovery and avoid the pitfalls? First, take advantage of the free resources available in every community. The 12-step anonymous meetings are the longest standing first line of defense. Don't just go to one and say, "that's not for me." The meeting groups are as varied as grains of sand on the beach – do an online search of them in the area – they are available all times of the day and evening. Give recovery at least as much chance as buying a car. Drivers wouldn't just drive one car and decide not to buy one at all because they didn't like some elements of the drive.

Some alternatives to 12-Step programs are Smart Recovery, Refuge Recovery, S.O.S. or Secular Organizations for Sobriety, and there are also many faith-based programs – do an online search for "faith," "addiction" or "recovery" and see what pops up.

For family members, Al-Anon and CoDA also provide first line support, in addition to family programs associated with the other groups mentioned. Meetings are available and varied and these activities are free. It is extremely important that family members engage these resources in order to find support for themselves through this stressful journey and to learn tools to avoid contributing to factors that assist the addict in prolonging their addiction. These support resources can assist people in locating appropriate treatment resources and help them learn how to set healthy boundaries.

The biggest barrier to treatment is shame and fear – that others will find out about this family secret. Talking to others with similar challenges about these issues can be liberating and help them realize that they are not alone.

Once in recovery, pay attention to those who are around. See who is successful and follow their lead. Seek out others who have more time in recovery for support, such as finding a 12-Step sponsor. Avoid those who continue to talk down about recovery or show short time in recovery as they are most vulnerable to relapse and could trigger a relapse.

If someone struggles with a mental health problem that is treatable with medication, follow the doctor's recommendations and give the new treatment time. Some conditions, such as depression and bipolar disorder, may need months to see adequate improvement in symptoms. Always find additional support for mental health issues by seeking weekly counseling. A counselor can notice changes that may indicate progress or a need for more support. Utilize all the resources available to stay in recovery. It is a complicated journey, but it is achievable and support is out there.

Judy Wahl Talley is a Fallbrook resident and a licensed marriage and family therapist in California as well as Oregon. Talley is in private practice in San Marcos and also works as clinical director for Pure Life Recovery LLC, a six-bed detox and residential treatment center in Escondido.