You do deserve the success you've earned

It's a feeling that affects both men and women. You've achieved success at work, with a community organization, or just within your family, and yet you don't feel you've really earned that achievement.

You may think that your accomplishments come from luck or good timing rather than any real talent and hard work on your part. You may feel like a fraud, not really capable of the tasks facing you.

Having these thoughts is fairly common. They're manifestations of self-doubt and a lack of self-confidence, and there's even a psychological term to describe them – "imposter syndrome."

It's not a psychological disorder but rather a descriptive name developed in the late 1970s. Researchers and clinicians found that they were seeing people who had strong accomplishments yet were often convinced they didn't deserve the success they had won.

It happens to many of us. We may have trouble believing we are as intelligent and talented as we really are. The result can be our crediting outside reasons or forces as to why a good thing is occurring, rather than accepting that we actually made it happen ourselves.

Such feelings can become a problem when feeling like an impostor gets in the way of our daily lives. We might be afraid or even frozen when facing a work presentation or speech at a big meeting. We may question or avoid the decisions we need to make regarding our children and family. Professional counselors report that they have seen this self-questioning and lack of confidence in everyone from managers of large businesses to stay-at-home moms.

However, there are ways to overcome impostor syndrome. A starting point is to step back and look objectively at your accomplishments. Make a list of positive things, big and small, you've accomplished in the past year. Then own those accomplishments. Give yourself credit for the work and talent that achieved those successes.

Research has shown that simply talking to yourself can change how you see yourself. Tell yourself that you are worthy in all aspects of your life. Tell yourself that you are better and smarter than you think you are, and that you know more than you usually give yourself credit for. And be sure to remind yourself of these positive thoughts as often as possible.

If a form of impostor syndrome is negatively affecting your life, a professional counselor can offer assistance in overcoming the problem.

“Counseling Corner" is provided by the American Counseling Association. Comments and questions to [email protected] or visit http://www.counseling.org.