Also serving the communities of De Luz, Rainbow, Camp Pendleton, Pala and Pauma
Life is full of challenges. Some big, some small, but all challenges can dishearten people at times and make them feel overwhelmed and discouraged.
While the goal of some challenge may be important to them, it can be easy to lose sight of that goal when things get in the way. Other responsibilities, a task’s difficulty, a lack of time or just the fear of failing, can all cause someone to give up.
Step one in taking on a challenge is clearly defining what it is that they want to accomplish. Identify and write down the goal they want to reach. It should be something specific, not a generality like “be a better person” or “be a happier person.” It might be to stop smoking, to learn a new language, to get that promotion at the office or any of a thousand other things that would actually make someone healthier, happier or more content.
What they write down should become their purpose, something that they are going to give priority in their life. This change means redefining their overall priorities. It means not letting themselves be distracted by lesser goals that are going to stop or distract them from achieving what they really want to achieve. It may mean saying “no” sometimes or rearranging schedules to work toward the goal. The idea is to keep the focus on the thing they most want to achieve at this time.
When the top goal is something large, their next step is to figure out the steps they need to take to finally get to that goal. If an office promotion is what’s important, for example, maybe the first steps for someone are doing small things to make themselves and their talents more visible or volunteering to take on new projects that will help lead them to that bigger goal.
And, no, they don’t want to give up. It can be easy to want to stop trying when things get difficult. Some studies find that it might take eight attempts before someone is successful at stopping smoking. Losing weight also often takes multiple efforts before they succeed.
When someone has a clear goal that they write down and keep focused on, then it’s easier to see that temptation to quit is just another obstacle in the way, and one that they can find ways to overcome.
“Counseling Corner” is provided by the American Counseling Association. Send comments and questions to [email protected] or visit http://www.counseling.org.
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