Don't let anger get the best of you

In today’s world, high levels of stress and anxiety seem to be the norm. People face daily news reports of economic woes, political fights, weather disasters and international threats. And even if they choose to ignore this news, there are still many problems of daily life. Whether it’s work pressures, financial worries or normal family and personal issues, it seems there’s always something that adds anxiety to people’s lives.

One unfortunate side effect of all this stress is that sometimes people can reach a point where all it takes is a small incident to unleash an outpouring of rage and anger. This reaction is never a good thing.

When someone isn’t able to manage and control their anger, the outcome is usually negative for both professional and personal relationships. Experts said anger is the most poorly managed emotion in society. It’s estimated that one in five Americans have an anger control problem.

This out of control anger, the sudden explosion of emotion and possibly action, is problem many people face. It isn’t difficult to judge if unchecked anger might be an issue. Do someone have frequent arguments with others? During an argument have they ever found themselves shouting? Have they broken something; pushed, slapped or physically hurt someone; embarrassed themselves or felt out of control? If any of these apply, consider some actions to better control that anger.

First, start by accepting responsibility for the anger. Although someone or something else may have triggered the outburst, the angry person is the one who let it happen and grow out of control.

Next, recognize the beginning signs of rage. Anger is easier to control while emotions are still low.

Try to identify the source of the anger. It usually isn’t another person, but something inside, an emotional or psychological issue from the past that may be the real source of their becoming upset.

Learn to focus on the situation or behavior sparking the anger and not the other person. Criticizing or name-calling only escalates the situation. Use “I” statements to talk about what is being felt and experienced.

Lastly, take time to listen and communicate more effectively.

Anger should never control a person. If their anger is sometimes out of control, consider an anger management course through the hospital or mental health agency or contact a professional counselor trained to help with anger management issues.

Counseling Corner is provided by the American Counseling Association. Send comments and questions to [email protected] or visit http://www.counseling.org.