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'Train Up a Child'

One of the best-known promises in the Bible is given to parents: "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

Dads play such an important role in raising kids and are cautioned against exasperating their children during the training process. "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4)

Following are some suggestions for dads from both the Bible as well as my personal experiences.

"Show them what a godly man ought to look like."

Never underestimate the value of an authentic example. You may be able to fool the neighbors and people at work, but your children know the real you. When kids hear their father say cruel words to their mother, words he wouldn’t dare to utter to others, he loses credibility in their eyes.

Kids imitate their parents in ways that are good, and ways that are not so good. If you cheat on your wife or on your taxes, you’re likely to end up with children that will cheat and lie to you. If they see you getting drunk, they are likely to engage in similar dangerous habits that will cause heartaches in their lives.

"Don’t make promises you can’t keep."

Be a Promise Keeper. Your word should be golden, especially to your children. Don’t make promises unless you’re positive you’ll be able to keep them.

"Don’t let intentional wrong doing go unchallenged."

It’s essential that dads address intentional wrong doing, being careful to distinguish childhood immaturity from willful disobedience. It is also crucial that dads accept their responsibility in child rearing, and not expect their spouse to serve as the sole disciplinarian in the home. And dads must remember that correction must never be done in anger or be an over-reaction to mere childish behavior, lest you exasperate your child.

"Be patient…remember they’re only kids."

Parents should never tire of having their children ask them seemingly impossible questions. Rather they should be thankful that their children believe that they actually have the answers to life’s perplexing mysteries. Be patient with your children and remember that not all children mature at the same rate.

"Never underestimate the impact of praise."

Search for specific things that your child has done that are worthy of praise. We all have a desire to be appreciated, and that is especially true of children. You’ll get more good from your child by praise that by criticism.

"Establish guidelines that are clear…and enforceable."

Believe it or not, children, like adults, want clear guidelines to follow. Take care to make your rules or guidelines clear enough for the kids to understand. And also make sure they are enforceable with appropriate consequences if violated.

"Never let the child split the parents."

Make sure you and your spouse are in agreement regarding expectations, and don’t let the kids get away with playing one parent against the other.

"Prepare kids for adult life…not just for childhood."

Teach them how to make wise decisions as you gradually increase their independence. Allow them to fail, but then be prepared to show them how to handle failure.

"Pray for them daily."

Ask God daily for help in their lives. And don’t stop praying for them just because they turn 18. Praying for our children, and then grandchildren, is a lifetime privilege and commitment.

 

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