Also serving the communities of De Luz, Rainbow, Camp Pendleton, Pala and Pauma

Re: 'Detransitionioners – A new need for community' [Village News, Letter, 6/22/23]

Julie clearly does not understand the difference between gender expression and drag queens. Drag queens are not inherently trans women, nor is every trans woman a drag queen. We won’t even get into Drag Kings or Bio Queens - I don’t think Julie has the strength to clutch that many pearls at once.

Drag queen story hours do not involve suggestive or inappropriate dancing. If Ms. Reeder is able to provide a video of inappropriate dancing specifically at Drag Queen Story Hour in a public library, I will be happy to revisit her claim. But it’s not true.

Let me guess, Julie, you saw a video of some moms' wine night event in the UK where women chose to bring their babies to a private event where arial dancers were dressed in revealing clothing. Not a drag queen story hour. Did these women make a good choice to take their kids to such an event? I don’t think so. But it wasn't a Drag Queen Story Hour at a public venue. It was specifically a private adult event. Why did the moms take their kids, who knows? You’d have to ask them. But you saw it online so it must be true?

Have you watched any video from an actual Drag Queen Story Hour? Attended one? Even checked out their website? Or do you just open your email, read whatever hate filled newsletter you subscribe to and reprint it without verifying the source, context, or facts?

The reason I know what video you are talking about is because I had to see for myself if this is really happening with Drag Queen Story Hour. And lo and behold, it’s not. Really odd decision for a mom’s night out but again, a private event and not a Drag Queen Story Hour.

The LGBTQ+ community roundly rejects the acceptance and inclusion of pedophilia. Period. The flag you claim is a MAP flag is the trans flag. Monica Helms, the designer of the flag, explains the design: “The stripes at the top and bottom are light blue, the traditional masculine color. The stripes next to them are pink, the traditional feminine color. The stripe in the middle is white, for those who are transitioning or consider themselves having a neutral or undefined gender.”

It has nothing to do with children. Perpetuating this rumor is dangerous and as a self-proclaimed journalist, you should know better. But you continue to irresponsibly reprint this blatant lie. I know it’s hard to believe, and it’s a horrible reality, but child sex abuse is a human problem, not a problem limited to a specific group.

Otherwise, you’d be hammering away at your keyboard how Camp Pendleton marines are groomers and pedophiles. Sounds ridiculous, right? Should every Marine at Camp P be held accountable for the actions of eight convicted pedophile marines? Since 2016 anyway; I didn’t search further back. And I only checked our one base.

The only reason you give two flying figs about children’s safety is because it dovetails so neatly with your own hatred of the LGBTQ+ community. If not, you would be writing articles about how disgusting and dangerous the USMC is to the safety of our children. But you don’t, because it isn’t logical to say every marine is either a pedophile or supports pedophilia because several marines have been found guilty of child sex abuse.

I specifically chose Camp P as an example because it’s (literally) close to home and is unfortunately relevant to the topic of child sex crimes.

Claiming that gender dysphoria is increasing youth suicide rates is incorrect. Being rejected by people that should love them unconditionally and being bullied to death are the reason for high suicide rates amongst LGBTQ youth.

Again, you don’t have to look too far to find an example of that. A 15 year old trans Fallbrook High student took her life in 2016 after relentless bullying from other students. Not because she wasn’t happy with who she was. Who wouldn’t feel hopeless if their family cast them out and people (like you, Julie) were continually telling them they are “disgusting” and saying they are pedophiles?

Have you ever heard a mother tell her son “I’d rather you were dead than be gay?” Verbatim. I have. And I think about that poor kid every day. I wonder about his mental health. And how it has everything to do with his mother’s hate and nothing to do with the person he is.

No one is pushing anything on your kids. Drag Queens did not put an invitation to salvation in my car door handle while I was in Albertsons or send me a literal “handbook” in the mail outlining how to live my life this week. You know who did though? The church. Gotta say, I was disappointed; I was hoping for an invite to bottomless mimosas and a Cher impersonation at Hamburger Mary’s.

Your suggestion that coaches are going to encourage athletes to transition to another gender is preposterous. It just isn’t happening. If you would like to provide a specific trans athlete and review their career stats pre and post transition and the career stats of their cis gender counterparts, I will gladly compare notes. I would like to note that everyone upset by cisgender athletes competing against trans athletes are primarily bothered by trans women athletes. Never the trans men athletes. I wonder why?

How does someone using the term chest feeder preclude someone from breastfeeding? Do you read what you write aloud to yourself? You should. Say breastfeeding, say mom, say whatever you want. And if someone wants to say chest feeder or birthing person, let them.

You seem to want everyone to be respectful of what you want to be called but refuse to share the same respect because the terms you are so incensed about are part of a more LGBTQ inclusive language. That is the only reason you care. Can the people who chose to refer to themselves as chestfeeder or birthing person also not do so proudly? Or is that right only reserved for cisgendered people?

Dylan is a trans woman, not a man. She stayed in an Eloise-themed room (from the book “Eloise at the Plaza”) and dressed as Eloise. Other grown women who have booked the Eloise Suite have done the exact same thing. For $1300 a night suite, I’d dress as Eloise too. But it’s only strange if Dylan does it?

These days Dylan is channeling her inner Audrey Hepburn. Lots of up-dos and evening gowns. But still, you persist that she’s a mockery. What is she mocking? Are you so insecure in your own womanhood, Julie, that you feel threatened by a social media influencer cosplaying a character in a book? Does it bother you that despite a constant barrage of hate, Dylan still manages to be bubbly and full of joy?

Newsflash (sorry it’s not “breaking” on…. Pulse point): children have been taking puberty blockers for years. To treat precocious puberty, for example. Youtube, TikTok and Reddit as sources? Good thing this is an opinion piece and you don’t have to employ journalistic integrity on this one, eh? I get it. It’s easier to scare the masses when your info is anecdotal and not factual.

You didn’t “listen with empathy” – you watched a video from who knows where with a big wad of “see, I knew it!” already lodged firmly between your cheek and gum. Have you, Julie Reeder, ever spoken to a trans person in real life? Had a conversation with someone that has transitioned, is considering transitioning, or has de-transitioned? Have you ever attended the funeral of someone who’s family turned their backs on them when they shared their true gender identity?

The Church already has groups to “help” these “hurting” people. It’s called conversion therapy. And it’s banned in 25 states. And 25 countries.

The more I read what you write, I realize your fear of the unknown is what’s really affecting you. But you have embraced your fear. You like it. You can stand on your soapbox and shout “Come be afraid with me! I’m not entirely sure what I’m afraid of, but join me and we can be afraid together!”

You find comfort in the commonality of your shared, unfounded fear. It gives you a sense of self-importance. You have zero interest in researching the lengths transgender people have to go through to transition. It’s not some overnight undertaking.

But you will never research the processes and levels of transitioning. Because your friends will automatically assume you’re a pedo supporter, right? And you will lose the security of your group. So, you stay ignorant. It’s more comfortable for you to stay ignorant. Unfortunately, you won’t stay quiet with your inflammatory disinformation and accusations of a community that you know very little about.

Gretchen Martin


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