An open letter to Governor Newsom

Dear Governor Newsom,

Can I first congratulate you on your common sense? Someone of your age and robust health can expose himself to COVID-19 with little or no risk. Why not dine indoors with friends sans masks? Magnifique!

Meanwhile, your subjects are dutifully following your guidelines. It is up to us to flatten the curve. And we will, with your leadership! What does it matter that a handful of the illuminati sup at a restaurant that is beyond our reach culturally and financially? Would we even know what to order at such an establishment without exposing ourselves as hoi polloi?

Do us, the great unwashed, have the cultural wherewithal to properly enjoy Michelin Three-Star French cuisine? Of course not! Enjoy your meal dear leader! You are worth it. We shall make the sacrifices that you have laid upon us. We realize that in your exalted position, special dispensations, such as a night out with monied interests, are in order.

Sincerely,

Bill Blackburn