How to nurture relationships explained at Women's Connection

The theme of the June 19 Fallbrook Women's Connection brunch was friendship. About 100 ladies attended the event, sponsored by Stonecroft Ministries, at the Grand Tradition. The monthly gathering is a time to visit with friends and make new ones over brunch, and to learn about topics like hobbies and relationships.

Guest speaker Charisse Williams led the group through an interactive talk on "The Gift of Friendship." She said, "We [women] are wired to be friends" and told about her own quest to become a friend as a young, stay-at-home mother.

She explained that there are three gifts women can give each other as friends that are "very valuable but don't cost a dime."

The first is the gift of transparency. "Openness and willingness to be vulnerable gives them permission to be transparent with us" creates trust she said. Sharing goals and passions in life, as well as struggles, builds more trust between friends.

As a person finds someone trustworthy, sharing secrets and causes of shame shines a light on them, allowing them to heal, Williams added. As a first step, she asked the ladies to share a dream with the person next to them.

The second gift is encouragement, "We thrive on it and need it in all aspects of life," she said. She urged all to be on the lookout for ways to encourage each other and recommended that younger women look for older women who have wisdom to share with the next generation.

She asked each woman to decide on doing something specific to encourage a friend and tell someone else so they can hold each other accountable for doing it.

The third gift is listening. Quoting Webster's Dictionary, she said listening is "to hear with thoughtful attention." So, she advised the ladies to be quick to listen and slow to speak as most women just want someone to listen, understand, and care for them.

Advice from the Bible included "a gossip betrays a confidence; a trusted friend keeps a secret." To get the most out of conversations with anyone, she suggested asking probing questions

that start with words like who, what, why, or when. She then asked the ladies to rephrase a given question using those words as practice.

Even with good relationships, there is "an empty place in each one of us that longs to be filled," Williams said. It is a place no one can fill, not friends, husbands or children as it is a "God-shaped vacuum in each of us. When we seek Him, we will find Him who will fill it with love and make us whole." She added, "He created us as relational beings, to be in relation with Him."

She also explained that sin is falling short of perfection, and dismissing God, which "blocks us from having a relationship with a perfect, holy God who sent his son to pay the price so we can have eternal life." By asking for forgiveness and maintaining a relationship with God through his son, one can find the way, the truth and eternal life. Bible studies were recommended to everyone to help them on their way.

The other guest speaker, Linda Furry, talked about the unique jewelry pieces that she makes, in ways that can also be used to describe friendship. She saw a friend's bracelet and decided she could "do so much better." She took it apart and redesigned it to look better for her friend. That is how her passion for making jewelry started.

She uses a variety of metals, including stainless steel which is hypoallergenic, and natural materials such as semi-precious stones, shell, wood, leather and glass. Each creation is a one of a kind piece (just as friends are each unique with their own natural talents).

She guarantees her work and will repair anything that comes apart or rework it if needed. (Just like good friends do with each other's life problems.) She will restring an already owned piece to make a new look and can personalize pieces to fit each person whether altering the length or changing the kind of earring backs or posts.

Furry said, "Each piece has an inspiration; I will rework the piece until it is right, beautiful, comfortable, and complements the wearer." Which is what any woman would do for a friend.

Music was provided by pianist Jean Dixon, a longtime

friend of Fallbrook Women's Connection.